Beware Those with Good People Skills

By Heather, on September 15th, 2011

September is International People Skills Month. I say beware these people! Why? Because I’ve dealt with these people before, and they are dangerous. Don’t believe me? Meet the suspects:

Suspect #1: The Charmer

The Charmer doesn’t whine, doesn’t beg. You think you would love this?

Imagine you’ve just come home and put away groceries. Your son even helps. He doesn’t say a word, he just acts so helpful.

He waits until you are sitting at your computer, beginning your work and asks, “Hey, Mom, what’s your fifth favorite candy?”

Surprised that he’s taken an interest in your likes, and admittedly baffled by why he’d want to know your FIFTH favorite, you say, “I don’t know, something with chocolate, I suppose.”

“Huh,” he replies. Then just sits there beside you.

You turn toward him. “Why?” you ask. “What’s yours?”

“Twizzlers,” he answers simply.

“Really? I just bought Twizzlers.” And this is when it hits you. You’ve been charmed.

You think you would learn… but you find yourself in the same predicament as you cut out coupons for B1G1 ice skating. “Hey Mom, where’s your third favorite place to go in town?”

Beware the Charmer!

Suspect #2: The Cuddler

The Cuddler knows when you’re feeling weak. They can sense it. Just when you need a hug the most, they are there. They even learned at a ridiculously young age how to squeeze your shoulders just right to get rid of any knots. You think this must be nice?

The hug, the right look, and then, “Mommy, do you have any chores for me to do?”

You stammer, shocked. “Um, not right at the moment, sweetie. But thank you!”

“Oh, okay. Just want to make you happy. I’m practicing being responsible in case anyone wants to get me a pet.” Beware the Cuddler!

Suspect # 3: The Operator

Suspect #3 is perhaps the most dangerous by far. She knows how to operate both the Charmer and the Cuddler’s skills and knows best when to and which to use. In addition, she is quick to thank, quick to apologize, and makes you beam with pride at her work ethic.

Jealous?

Well, you should be! I have wonderful children!

See? See what they’ve done to me! Beware the Operator, the Charmer, and the Cuddler for they will turn you into:

Suspect#4: The Bragger*

*Suspect asked to wear fake mustache and be filmed in black and white in case she snapped out of her sleep-deprived state and regretted writing this silly post about International People Skills Month.