101 Kid Bad Luck Signs

“Mom, there should be a book called 101 Kid Bad Luck Signs to prepare kids everywhere.   The first one would be when a teacher calls a kid out into the hallway.”  She gave me a knowing look. “That’s NEVER good.”

Serious Conversations

I let the kids listen to a Christian comedian that we love. Sure, I hadn’t heard the entire thing yet, but we’d watched his previous comedy so I didn’t give it a second thought.

I’m in the other room which has the magical property of making the kids think I’m not in listening range.
I’m working when I hear the comedian tell a story about getting the word “prostate” and “prostrate” mixed up.
My eldest child’s friend gasps and turns the recording off.

“What? What? What does that mean?” my youngest begs.

“That’s a conversation for you to have with your parents when you’re much older…like when you’re 30,” the friend responds.

“But YOU’RE not thirty,” my youngest counters.

“Yeah, but we ride the bus,” my eldest deadpans.

End of conversation. At least the conversation I heard, because I had to run upstairs to keep them from hearing me laugh.

Perspective

Sometimes you are so used to something that you forget how others might see it.

I made hummus today. And a few stray chickpeas managed to escape my food processor.

“Mom, what is this?”

“A chickpea,” I said, as I added some cumin, cayenne, and garlic.

“What?”

“A chickpea,” I said again, a little exasperated since I was busy. “It’s also called a garbanzo bean.”

“Mom, let’s just stick with garbanzo bean. Chick pee just sounds disgusting.”

I frowned, until suddenly, I burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. And now, I can never call a garbanzo bean a chickpea again.