Overheard: The Insult Guide

It’s always a pleasure (and sometimes scary) to see the world through my children’s eyes.  Yesterday, I overheard the younger two discussing the type of things children say to each other as insults at school.  I was about to put a stop to it when I heard Sam stop Anabelle for me.

“Here’s the deal,” he said. “Any word in the dictionary can be an insult. You just add ‘head’ to it or ‘pants’ to it and suddenly it’s an insult.  Think about it.  If I told you that you looked fancy you would like that but you wouldn’t like it if I said you were a fancy pants.”


“Just try it. You’ll see.”

She did:  “Hey book-head.”  Giggles.  “Hey, couch-head.” Guffaws.  “You fence-head.” Snorts. “Hey SmartPants!”

“Try smartypants.”

“Smarty pants!” Raucous laughter.  “Hey coffee pants!”

And that’s when I put an end to it.  Because I really did have coffee on my pants.


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